I broke down and bought a new phone today. One with extravagant features, of which I’m fairly positive I’ll use only 10% or so. My old phone had finally had it. Both little screens were suddenly shorting out on me, and there’s only so many times you can bitch-slap a phone and get it to come back to life for you.
I hadn’t realized beforehand that this event would itself be an epic tale to behold. Sure I dragged my feet and held off for as long as possible, but when my phone finally went belly up and flipped me the finger on its little digital display, I figured it was time to move on.
I did a bit of research beforehand just to make sure I knew what I wanted before anyone tried to sell me anything. To which I’m now saying, ‘Great, Phil. You spent an hour learning about this shit at home only to go to the store and have to wait two hours before you could actually go through with it. Now that’s time well spent.’
And all the while I had to deal with this crazy Verizon welcome woman, probably in her 40s, who had gotten it into her head that a low-cut spaghetti strap black top covered in white polka dots was perfectly acceptable attire for work, so long as it was covered by a see-through outer top of similarly disgusting fabric that, even as a second layer, failed to conceal her bra. Then there was the punk 10-year-old who accidentally jumped into the family pool with his phone in his pocket, so as a reward his dad bought him a brand new Voyager. Sure, I got the same phone, but I’m not the one hasn’t even started sixth grade. Oh, and the jerk kid wore his faux-kleys inside the store the whole time. Bitch, you’re not fifteen yet.
8 Responses to “Renounce thy poor taste in style and step away from the cellular telephone. Please.”
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I hate kids that were cooler than me when I was their age. Although, in elementary/junior high, who are these kids calling so much that they need cell phones??
You got the Voyager?! You must review it for my geeky blog (http://mustlovegeek.com). And by must, I mean if you want to
I still use the phone I got free through my carrier — but I’m about to save some $$ and seriously, seriously upgrade. I want internets!!
My boyfriend has been using the same, crapped out flip phone Verizon gave him from day one. He told me he finally broke down the other day and went in for a new one after having several probs with his ghetto-fabulous one. He got talked into resigning a super long contract for a giant Blackberry-ish thing.
And the man STILL doesn’t grasp the concept to sending out a text message!
Ben: I know! But I take comfort in the knowledge that, at the very least, I wasn’t ever nearly as pretentious as these kiddies. I’m sure for this kid, the phone is also a baby-sitter… it’s got a fucking TV on it, after all. Bleh.
Jenn: I’d love to! Awesome.
Deutlich: I sprang for the ‘qwerty’ style phone the second I invested in a cell phone two years ago. I’m all about the qwerty.
Token: Wow! That’s a major jump… Junkberry to Blackberry. Even I’m still intimidated by those things.
Don’t get me started on kids. I saw a 6 year old on a Bluetooth. What the hell does a 6 year old need a bluetooth headset for? Is he driving?
Kids and technology has always been an issue for me. I mean, why does a 13 year old have a 3000 macbook when all she does is use it to cam chat and send emails despite the fact that the machine can do the work of a small newspaper staff?
An elementary school kid with a cell phone? Ridiculous. It’s not like they can use it THAT often. He sounds obnoxious.
Yay for getting a new phone, though.
maybe we should teach kids how to communicate before we give them devices that destroy their communications skills (idk, bff, lmao, ETC). kids with cell phones annoy me - maybe cause i wasn’t that cool growing up. maybe cause they’re just annoying. haha.